In the words of Stevie Nicks:
Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Well, I've been afraid of changing
Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older and I'm getting older too
Oh, I'm getting older too
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older and I'm getting older too
Oh, I'm getting older too
Some times it hits my like a wake of emotion that leaves me paralyzed. It leaves my mind spinning in the most inconvenient of places, like the canned goods isle of the super market or while I'm waiting for the light to change from red to green. I had a few more of 'those moments' this week. It washed over my again as I cleaned out my desk this week and discovered little bits of my childhood: notes from high school, my baby teeth, confirmation announcements, diaries filled with my dramatic stories.
Another grown up moment came {this was a few weeks ago} when I found out that a dear friend of mine is moving away. I know I will be moving myself in a few months {well 6 months to be exact} but it really won't hit me till I start packing away my room.
I suppose that's why I have been a little absent from here lately. I seem to feel stuck in between. Between my 2 homes. One with Brian in the new appartment {which I will be sharing pictures of next week, once we get a few more touches on the place} and one with my family in town.
I feel sort of restless, in between 2 world. The new appartment is filled with what will be. It will be our place to live after we get married. It will be the place we spend our first year {or maybe more}. It will be the home of my possesions, but not yet. My home here is filled with memories. It reminds me of my childhood and makes me feel as though I am a kid again. It is a place where I would love to paint and decorate but seeing as though I will not be living here in 6 month's time, it seems useless. This is the reason for my feelings of restlessness. I have been praying to have a content heart between my 2 delightful worlds.
Has anyone felt the same way during their engagement? I would love to know that I am not the only one to feel as though I am stretched out between 2 places. Both equally amazing, but so totally different.
Hey Emily! Love your blog! :)
ReplyDeleteIn response to your question--I felt the same way. It was a challenge for me to step away from my childhood memories and step into a whole new reality. It's something that I'm still working on. But the greatest comfort is that you won't be alone in the process. You will have your soon-to-be husband to help you, and, most importantly, the Lord will be by your side.
I'm excited to see pictures of your new place! :)